Words_Woes From the Back Row

Church etiquette has reached a new low.

I usually sit in the very back row at church ("hos in the back row"- Raych Arles) and when you choose to do this, you are making yourself vulnerable to the best and worst of distraction. You see everyone coming in or going out of the five church entrances, you notice when other people are noticing distractions, when people are sleeping, when there's a problem with the sound, and sometimes you even notice when things are going on behind you.

I've seen people text (guilty), take swigs of "water" bottles (seriously I do think it is water), and make grocery lists. What I have not seen, which I did today, was the woman next to me take out a stack of lottery scratch off tickets and go to town on probably 10 of them. This wouldn't have been a distraction at all if she wasn't wearing a silver Tiffanys charm bracelet on her writing hand which clinked together incessantly every time she finished one, wiped off the residual scratched-off silver, and then placed it in her purse (which by the way was striped and had a feather boa lining--eesh). If this is where sitting in the back row is headed, I shouldn't be surprised to soon find people working on a stack of Christmas cards or perhaps even skype-ing from a mini laptop.

If you see this woman, tell her she's WANTED for distraction code 09384 clause 7 and she is not allowed to sit by me ever again. And most importantly, if she wins anything from those lottery tickets, I feel I should receive 10%. But by "I", I mean "God."