Saturday, July 31, 2010

Words_Hello Saturday

Last night:

Robbey's friends; Robbey's friends making me feel way too good about myself for no reason (might have been the alcohol); 80s dance party; blue moons; mini h2hs (heart2hearts); Hello Kitty Silly Bandz (YES), dueting with Rabbit (Garth & Kat style), here is an excerpt from one of Rabbit's verses: "Robbey and Kimi are making out on the bench so I decide to go and watch them intently, so intently"; late night pizza; wondrous sleep.


A Robbey Family Vacation.
So many details to come.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Words_Crabby Patty Me

It's happening.

I always heard as a kid that as you grow older, you start to become more particular, possibly crabbier, saltier, grumpier. It seems to be a universal joke to poke fun at the elderly especially when you witness them barking orders about how to:
a) prepare a meal
b) drive
c) dress appropriately
d) live your life
e) all of the above

Perhaps now, the joke is on me. I'm finding that as I'm nearing my 29th year of living (gulp) I'm relating more and more to this approach than ever before. I find myself much more demanding and particular about how I live, how much quiet time I have, how comfortable I am in my own home. I am easily frustrated when people fail to see my point of view or don't do certain things the way I do, which I'm sure is somewhat of a natural reaction for many, but for me it can be a point of contention; unnecessary and poisonous.

The silver lining in all of this is that I feel I'm becoming more honest in my old age. I'm less on filling in conversations with forced pleasantries and more on cutting to the chase and getting to the bottom line. It just seems easier and more time-effective to ask and say exactly what I mean. This is not consistent of course. If you ask Robbey or anyone terribly close to me, they'll admit in a heartbeat that I need an emotional and verbal Heimlich on the daily. Instead of being honest with myself and therefore being honest with those close to me, I bury myself behind pride and selfishness. The only good thing about pride and selfishness is that it inevitably points to humility. (I also like that selfish has the word fish in it for some reason.)

Perhaps there is a happy medium in learning how to be gracefully honest while getting older and more particular and crabby(patty)er. I suppose it only makes sense to start with myself.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Words_Fred's Got Slacks

I was thinking about the weekend ahead and started singing "weekend" like SNL alumnus Will Ferrell does in his genius ditty "Fred's Got Slacks." If you missed it for some reason because you hate awesomeness, you can relive it here.

Seriously though, I'm excited for the busy weekend ahead which includes the following:
  • Baby shower (excuse to go to happy hour)
  • Birthday party (excuse to go to a bar)
  • Cookout (excuse to eat crabs)
  • Bowling (excuse to, well, go bowling)
But seriously folks, there's nothing better than a weekend with dear friends (and lovers), yummy food, and an All-American past time (bowling).

I'm also excited about some upcoming projects my friends and I are taking on in the next few months. El creative juices are flowing and it feels good to be a part of something that generates and supports a continuum of artistic perspectives. Honestly, it's just plain fun. And we honestly haven't even started yet except for an informal exchange of ideas. But what's freeing about it is we're not trying to make money (yet); we're stepping up to do what we are craving to do while sitting at our day-job desks. That kind of suppressed energy when released into the wild is uncontainable. It's crazy. It's eccentric. It's contagious. It's got serious momentum. So, I hope and pray that we have some serious fun sorting through the pictures in our heads and translating them into life and colors and faces and hearts. And when it's not fun anymore, I hope we stop.  

So, here's to the weekend and to the future of fun and everything in store for you and me and us.

Cheers, friends.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Photos_We Like Each Other

Sometimes we get dressed up for weddings.

Sometimes we pretend we're at prom.

Sometimes we are forced to take pictures by having our heads smashed together.

Sometimes we take a serious picture and end up looking hot at the same time.**

Sometimes* we take more pictures of us than the bride and groom.

*all the time
** he can't help this

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Words_Dear Blogger, Stop Sucking

One of my friends wasn't allowed to say "hate" growing up and instead was trained to say "hake." I'm adopting this principle for this post only in hopes that it acts as a sort of buffer for my usability annoyances I've found with Blogger. Usability specialists, why you have not improved the following grievances, I'll never know.

1. The "Dashboard" link should be showing at all times. When I view my blog, I understand that I'm viewing it as a user would view it (public-ish view), but the reality is, is that I'm still in my personal Blogger account which means I should be able to have instant access to my Dashboard which is cumbersome to get to.
Annoying level: 9

2. When I insert a photo, I'm unable to just select enter to go down to the next line. Blogger automatically assumes every freaking time that this photo is a link. When has this ever been the norm. So I then have to make sure the link icon is unselected and then deal with spacing issues and such (because if I press enter, the cursor remains in its place until I actually type something which is when it'll appear on the next line).
Annoying level: 9

3. If I hyperlink to something, the text never shows up automatically underlined. Yes, I can assign a different color to the hyperlink so the user knows it's indeed a hyperlink. But it's easier and probably a best practice to assume that if something is hyperlinked, it's going to be underlined AND a different color. To resolve this, I have to edit in HTML mode and put in all the appropriate underline tags. 
Annoying level: 9

4. As mentioned in #2, the spacing issues are super annoying. Why when I select enter does the cursor not move down? Why does it remain in the same place? Why do I only know it's actually moved me to the correct spot until I start typing? Then, when I preview, I see all these extra spaces I put in because the cursor wasn't displaying my actions correctly in the first place so I have to delete all those spaces that sometimes don't look like they've deleted anything but they really have.  
Annoying level: 10

5. Once I publish my post, it should take me automatically to my homepage and NOT give me the option of Viewing Post or Viewing Blog. Who wants to view just their post? That's stupid. No one wants to do that. We all want to see the grand ol' picture. Should someone want to see their specific post, they can click on it from the full blog view.
Annoyance level: 7 

So Blogger, if you're listening, take these tiny yet crucial usability complaints into consideration. They would make Blogger work so much more wonderfully and smoothly. I don't want to hake you right now but I do. Please give me a reason not to hake you so much.


Friday, July 2, 2010

Words_O Mandy, My Mandy

I recently took a mini-mini vacay to the incomparable, the coveted, the magnificent O.C. of MD. I was accompanied by my heterosexual life partner, Mandy (aka Big Mouth Hongry, Manders, Lungoo), longtime dear friend Hendrix (aka Hendo, Aaron, GB), and longtime dear friend Hendrix's longtime dear friend Brian (aka Bic, Mahaffey).

On our way to the beach we witnessed a guy dressed in a hot dog suit dancing his little hot dog off (?). Hendrix drifted into the other lane by accident nearly bumping into three motorcyclists who, thinking we did this maliciously, proceeded to give us the finger for a grand total of 10 seconds, flash us some other NSFW signs, and other antics that I of course failed to capture on my camera phone. (I'll get you next time you miniature space chimps! That's what they looked like by the way in their little cyclist suits.)

We stayed at the Dunes Manor on 28th street, one tiny block over from the end of the boardwalk. This hotel, which I would recommend to anyone, had perfect oceanfront views, a piano bar, an outside deck with rocking chairs (Cracker Barrel style), an outdoor bar, and a barefoot bar below where you could throw a few beers back (for $1.50) and then walk (stumble) a few paces out to the beach to take a nap (pass out).

The weather was perfect. Our setup was perfect. Hendrix and Brian found $2 in the ocean (they also spotted a stingray but we won't talk about that), Mandy and Hendrix bonded over Irish accents and Far and Away movie quotes, we witnessed two older (and bigger) lesbians having a love fest after hours, we (of course) hit up Seacrets where Mandy threw flip flops we found at a table into the water (classic), and we all adopted a reoccurring phrase Mandy used to refer to overly arrogant and under-attractive men: douchelords. I'm not sure why adding "lord" to the end of "douche" ups the comedic genius of this word but it does. Directly from the creator's mouth: "Look at all these douchelords. It's like we're in the douchelord factory."

If you know Mandy, you know her mind is a factory of its own, harvesting zinger after zinger, 24/7. What is manifested from this factory is what I like to call: Mandyisms. So without further ado, here are our Beach Trip Beeches 2010 Mandyisms:

  • On the Boardwalk, we all walk by this incredibly tall, stately attractive woman. "Wow," we all say. "That woman was intense." "Yeah she was," Mandy said. "I think she put me in a headlock with her eyes."
  • At Dumsers, Mandy observes guests at a nearby table: "That guy is eating his food like its got a plane to catch."
  • On the beach, Brian and Mandy are talking about free radicals causing cancer and deterioration within the body. "Free radicals are the cause of a lot of things," Brian notes to which Mandy says, "What's the cause of lumpy ass syndrome?" Brian replies, "Probably free radicals." Mandy pauses to reflect. "Well, I must have eaten at a free radical buffet and didn't know it."
  • Someone asked: "What was the cab driver's name?" Me: "G." (correct) Mandy: "Diggins." (what now?)
  • Mandy to Brian after a long night out at Seacrets: "You look like day 7 of spring break."
  • Mandy: "I love pretty people. Ugly people are the worst!"
  • Mandy talking about her moles/freckles. "The only person who gets excited to see me naked is the dermatologist."
Hendo charmed the Russian staff as usual

K & M

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Words_Righteous Kill

I've been reading Genesis on and off lately. No particular reason. It's been awhile since I've read Genesis as an adult and I've really enjoyed it so far. Whether you believe the Bible or not, I think it's safe to say that it's an undeniable page turner packed with love, death, betrayal, adultery, polygamy, homosexuality, greed, lust, murder, war, forgiveness, and redemption.

I'm prone to think we're currently living in a time where evil is at the height of its destructiveness. With new technology and the human race mentally and emotionally deteriorating at a rapid pace, I can't help but think we shouldn't be surprised to witness evil at its best. Too often I hear people refer to cities like Las Vegas or New Orleans as "Sodom and Gomorrah," a city in the Bible notorious for its rampant perversion and staunch dismissal of morality. But after reading about this famous city and Abraham's involvement in its fate, I'm not sure this is a fair comparison. Here's why.

God knew Sodom and Gomorrah was painfully evil and he decided he was going to destroy it. Abraham, whom God favored and loved, had a brother Lot who lived in the city with his family. Abraham boldly asked God to spare the city should God find 50 people who were righteous. God agreed. Then Abraham proposed he spare the city if he found 40 people who were righteous. God agreed. Abraham asked again and again until his number was 10. If God found 10 righteous people in Sodom and Gomorrah, would he spare the city from destruction? Yes, God agreed. But, the bad news is that he didn't even find ten righteous people. He only found Lot's family whom he decided to save.

Here's where it gets crazy.

So God sends two angels to the city. Lot ends up inviting them into his house. As he is feeding them, all the men from the city--young and old--surround the house and demand Lot give the two men to them so they can have sex with them. (Um, what) Lot (remember he was marked righteous) dismisses their request and instead proposes another brilliant idea. "I have two daughters who have never slept with a man. Let me bring them out to you and you can do what you like with them. But don't do anything to these men, for they have come under the protection of my roof." (Aw, hell nah)

So let me get this straight. The only righteous person in Sodom and Gomorrah whom God has chosen to save is offering his own daughters to homosexually-charged strangers who are literally trying to break down the door to get to the angels who end up blinding their asses anyway. The righteous meter is probably about to croak.

This brings me back to my comparison of today's evil with Sodom and Gomorrah's. Are we more or less evil than this? I'm sure it could be debated either way. But I can't tell you the last time I saw someone deemed righteous offering up their children to strangers to have sex with them. The story gets even more twisted post-destruction of S&G when Lot settles with his remaining family members (Gen. 19:30-38).

Here's what I think it points to though: God and his mercy on us, even when we are surrounded by evil to the point we can't discern what is right or wrong. God saves us from this crap and removes us from what is destructive. God listens to us and truly hears our prayers and pleads for change.

References: Genesis 19