Thursday, February 2, 2012


Received this sweet bridal shower invitation in the mail today and thought "suckerrrrr!!!!" after reading it. But seriously, I'm honored to be surrounded and supported by such a sweet group of older ladies (aka Mom's friends) who will probably end up praying over me thus making all my shower pictures a complete disaster because I'll be weeping the entire time which will result in a thorough mess of smeared makeup and someone will tell me "Oh, it doesn't look bad!"* when in reality I'll be so unrecognizable that people arriving late will introduce themselves to me and ask me: "So, how do you know Kimi? Are you her biological brother?"
On the bright side, I'm thankful that this invitation didn't have "zilla" at the end and wasn't written in the present tense, although I still have four months to go before I'm officially in the clear of assuming that title. 
Did someone say four months? I think a bottle of wine is calling my name. And what's really weird is that it's referring to me as "mommy."

*Whoever you are, you are dead to me

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Words_And I'm Back!

Thank goodness for new days, people.

Since my last post, I've willingly launched myself from the stressful marriage fiasco train and decided that all my rants and raves are something you might equate to #engagedpeopleproblems. It all really does sound absurd--like a rich person complaining about not having anything smaller than one hundred dollar bills in his wallet (I'm pretty sure that's a Jack Handey quote)--except I'm complaining about how stressed I am about purchasing probably the most beautiful dress I'll ever wear in my life or what kind of amazing dessert we'll have the luxury of sharing with our closest friends and family. Tough life. Honestly, I have more than enough to plan a wedding, I have incredible support in every since of the word, and I just needed to take a deep breath and remove mi cabeza from mi culo (look it up). (And God actually helped me do that last thing.) That's all. And yes--cue cheesy music--what matters in all of this is the person I'm marrying (what's his name again?) and the amazing people I get to share it with (seriously, nothing less than amazing, don't disappoint me). So for now, I'm holding onto my normal stick and doing things that I know best like:

  • plucking out strand gray hairs from my scalp
  • squeezing my belly fat
  • having conversations with inanimate objects
  • tweeting about having conversations with inanimate objects
Obviously, I'm poised and ready for marriage.