My only saving grace was comedian Michael Kosta who hosted all the backstage shenanigans (11 backstage cameras including the green room, a Thank You cam, main stage, press room, winner's room...etc.) and turned my frown upside down with his consistently incorrect celebrity identifications, butchering of celebrity names, his professed love for Friday Night Lights, and poking fun at not only all the actors but his colleagues (stage crew, producers, backstage directors).
Here are some of my favorite highlights:
- On the green room: "I love watching all the actors completely disregard each other."
- "There's a black person with a camera."
- "That was an opportunity for the crew to laugh but instead.... no one did anything. And now I feel awkward inside."
- "There's Sofia Vergara walking by and she's saying, 'I want to make love to you Michael.' Did you hear that? Can we rewind the tape?"
- "Turtle finally showed up proving that slow and steady wins the race. I'm sorry..."
- Peter Dinklage's speech to the Thank You cam: "This is heavy." (Referring to the Emmy.)
Michael: "Peter Dinklage keeps it short as usual."
- "You can tell which camera is the Roaming Cam because you'll want to vomit everywhere."
- On Margo Martindale's Thank You cam speech: "Don't you want to ask her to make you some pecan pie?"
- "There's LL Cool J... oh sorry, that's the wrong camera. That's not LL Cool J, that's a white balding man; much different. We went from LL Cool J to LL Bean."
- "These kind of sound like adult films: "Too Big To Fail", "Sherlock, A Study in Pink Masterpiece", "Mildred Pierce"... that doesn't sound too bad... and "Good Ol' Downtown Abbey".
- On watching Hugh Laurie in the Green Room: "Stars are just like us, I believe he just burped. We're getting some confirmation on that."
- "There's Amy Poehler. I sat next to her on a plane one time and she was very nice. Does she remember? Maybe mostly. She slept the whole time, but I tweeted 13 pictures of her sound asleep."
- "I'm going to ask Pat (producer) to help me with identifying these actors. Pat just told me 'No one in the world knows who that guy is'; I'm sure that makes that guy's parents feel good."
- "William J. Macy looks looks like a caveman managing a TGI Fridays."
- "There's Gwenyth Paltrow and her brother. Is that not her brother? They kind of look alike. I don't think that's her brother. It's gonna be weird when they french kiss."
- "I've slowly won our crowd over. Frank has fake laughed 60 times."
- "This is Joel McHale and a shadowy figure."
I love you Michael Kosta but I vote for Josh Sorokach to host or co-host next year.