Saturday, September 26, 2009

Words_You're Waysist! Series: #2 - "The Passerby-ers"

Please note that passerby comments are fairly normal. People notice you're Asian and of course care to put in their two cents. This may be executed in karate sound effects, shouting out an Asian country, or naming an Asian celebrity like Lucy Liu or Connie Chung. There's no explanation to these outbursts, they're just outbursts, with no rhyme or reason.

Passerby #1
Porkchop, Luke and I attended one of the last few O's games in September. We were walking back to my car after a pitiful loss (surprise surprise) and pitiful stadium might I add (we noted how fans cheered more for the Crab Shuffle and the ketchup, mustard and relish race than the actual game). We were following a large family in front of us and there was a group of twenty somethings next to us.

One of the twenty-somethings blurted out a strong expletive. His friend immediately reprimanded him which I thought was because of the handfuls of children walking in front of us under the age of 14. I heard the guys respond, "They can't hear me, look, she probably doesn't even know English."

Remember, these guys were next to me so I couldn't see who they were referring to; but after assessing the white family in front of me, I could only assume they were talking about me. I'm not 100% but I'm fairly certain I was the only one around that qualified as a possible subject. And for that, I would like to punch him in his face, possibly with his own penis. Just sounds more painful for some reason.

Passerby #2
Two days ago, Ray and I were downtown chatting on a bench. Earlier, we had grabbed a cup of coffee and witnessed a customer dressed in swimming trunks, construction boots, a white shirt with a cut off jean jacket, and bandana on his head. He was noticeably crazy, maybe high, possibly schizo. He was jittery, thin as a rail, made abrupt comments, and was generally unsettling to stand next to.

As we were talking, he passed by us. I felt him stare at me and then say audibly: "Konichiwa." My first reaction was to laugh because the fat white guy scenario had just happenend a few days earlier and I wondered if someone had put a target on my forehead. And then I remembered my target was that I was Asian. Awesome.
Ray stops talking because I'm laughing and then says, "Did he just say what I think he said?"
"What," I say, still laughing.
"Did he just say konichiwa?"
"Mm-hmm," I roll my eyes. "Don't worry about it."
Ray jerks his head to see the guy still talking to himself, retreating farther and farther away. Ray is paralyzed with anger and he holds his hands up to show me that he's shaking. He says something about beating the crap out of the guy and throwing him in the water; he might have also said something about blood and police, which I appreciate, but discerned that it may not be the best idea.
"Seriously," I say. "Don't worry about it. It's stupid and it's not worth it."
Or is it? Regardless, it's nice to know Ray has my back. In his own words, "Yeah, 38 years of anger coming at you is not a good thing." Amen.


Katie said...

I got your back to Kyami!!! I would've punched him with his own penis (I concur, sounds like it hurts). Love ya

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