On a recent visit to the PA, a discussion developed between Porkchop and King Rabbit on the percentage of gayness that existed in each band member (Luke and Marc) and occasionally using other musicians as means of measurement.
"Robbey is 30% gay," Rabbit said definitively. "And if Robbey's 30%, then David (band member of Lorien and Robbey's bff) is definitely 70% gay." (David is self-admittedly sensitive and is known to cry frequently while reading the endings of Harry Potter books while clothed in a Griffindor robe and holding a $75 wand by candlelight.)
"And Marc's at least 60%," Rabbit said of the chiseled, skin-tight tank-top wearing drummer, adorned with an artful collection of tattoos splashed across his chest and arms. Incidentally, Marc's girlfriend Danielle nodded in agreement.
"What's Luke?" I asked.
"I don't know but I definitely witnessed him and Steve holding each other on the couch for at least forty-five minutes," one of the two said.
"And I'm pretty sure Luke's tongue has been in a few guys' mouths," Porkchop said, which instantly resurrected a memory of meeting Luke for the first time and me capturing a photo of him planting a kiss on Robbey's unwilling cheek. That's legit, I thought.
I'm not sure how often heterosexual guys do a homosexuality check but I felt oddly fortunate to have witnessed such a conversation. I'm also comforted that out of everyone, Robbey came out the most heterosexual which is a nice thought to go to sleep with knowing your boyfriend isn't eyeing up the pool boy instead of you. At least, not yet.
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