Monday, May 9, 2011

Words_NYC Part Two

And the superlatives just keep on coming...
If you missed NYC_Part One, oh, it's right here.


Worst Friday Night Plan - "We're going to see The Kills but it's sold out and we don't have tickets. So I'm just gonna pray that we get in somehow." -- Nichole
Translation: We hung around Terminal 5 getting harassed by ticket scalpers; I somehow volunteered to start buttering up the bouncers (Stefan and ?) eventually asking if it was possible to let me and my friends in, to which Stefan responded: "Not now" (so, you're telling me there's a chance...); one of the ticket scalpers and I got into a bit of a verbal scuffle where it ended with him yelling "F*** YOU!" at me while walking down the street because I refused to buy a ticket from him (I had no idea ticket scalpers were so fragile these days); this made me feel oddly proud (and scared!) that I had so unwittingly pushed someone's buttons by 1. refusing a ticket (he responded by saying: "I wouldn't take your money anyway") and 2. responding to his "I'm a businessman" claims by reminding him of where he was and what he was doing: "Just remember that you're on the street. Trying to sell a ticket that no one wants, so..."; he probably could have cut me right then and there, would have gotten away with it, and sold my Asian hair to some rich housewife on the upper east side, but thankfully, that didn't happen; what did happen is that we ended up making one last valiant effort in charming Stefan (major fail) and took a walk of shame to the subway.


Best Morning Tour - High Line/Chelsea Art Galleries, NYC
High Line history
Favorite High Line photo

Best/Worst Picasso Quote in Gagosian Gallery ("Best" because it's outstandingly beautiful; "Worst" because it's to his mistress Marie-Thérèse)
"I see you before me my lovely landscape MT and never tire of looking at you, stretched out on your back in the sand, my dear MT I love you. MT my devouring rising sun. You are always on me, MT mother of sparkling perfumes pungent with star jasmines. I love you more than the taste of your mouth, more than your look, more than your hands, more than your whole body, more and more and more and more than all my love for you will ever be able to love and I sign Picasso."


Best Sushi Happy Hour - Jin Restaurant
A full menu featuring $3 happy hour items; amazing sushi; amazing avocado salad; all around amazingness.

Best Hookah Demonstration - Horus Cafe
(Sir) William, our kind hookah preparer, gave an impressive hookah demonstration where I was afraid he was actually on fire from all the smoke emanating from his body. He wasn't. It proved to be a valuable lesson as Emily's, Misie's, and my hookah technique were forever changed. I can proudly say my smoke level went from "candy cigarette" to "Care-A-Lot clouds."

Most Embarrassing Moment
Maybe it's because of his daily hookah demonstrations or years of perfecting the hookah smoke alphabet that impaired his vocal chords but I could. Not. Hear. What. William. Was. Saying. His voice was so quiet in the midst of surrounding street noise and other table conversation. I tried getting closer, cupping my ear, squinting/closing my eyes, but nothing worked. Once he left, I announced loudly, "I cannot hear anything that guy is saying." Misie and Emily's embarrassed faces quickly revealed to me that he was, of course, standing behind me. I turned and there he was, yes, right behind me, probably whispering, mouthing, or even miming words to another table. Please forgive me, Sir William.

Best Introspective Quote 
Our conversation naturally turned to Newsies (because that's normal) and who our favorite character was in the 1992 Disney musical (is this the bane of Christian Bale's existence?) Mine of course was Spot, from Brooklyn. Christian Bale (Jacky boy) was Emily's to which she shared this poignant and thoughtful observation: "I feel like Newsies was the point in my life when I became sexually aware." I take this quote with me until the end of time.


Best (And Only) Celebrity Sighting - Ty Burrell
AKA Phil Dunphy from Modern Family with his wife and baby near Union Square

Best/Worst "I hope this isn't my future" Moment 
Misie and I were rounding a corner near Union Square and the first thing I see is this fleshy blob that kind of resembles a human butt. Then I realize, it is indeed a human butt. Then I realize, it's quickly disappearing under brown pants. And then I realize it's a lady, an older Asian lady, who decided to use the sidewalk as her pit stop evidenced by the puddle of liquid left in her wake. She hurried away from it and glanced back at us, nervously, and then proceeded to her destination. Misie and I just looked at each in disbelief. She summed it up best by saying: "I guess when you gotta go, you gotta go." 

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