Sunday, March 11, 2012

Words_March

If my blog were a baby, it would be sitting in the most offensive diaper, probably have unidentifiable crust growing on its face, and somehow be smart enough to be giving me the middle finger. Sorry, blog. It's not you; it's me. I'm the negligent parent. I'm the one who needs the spanking.

You can blame the neglect on planning wedding 2012, searching for a new place to live, finding a new place to live, breaking the news to my parents (and myself) that I'd be needing to move in with them, shuffling Robbe's and my things over to our new place, working late, trying desperately to multitask, making decorations, applying for a new passport, planning a rehearsal dinner that seems almost as big as our wedding, preparing to talk to people who we weren't able to invite to the wedding (eek), going through premarital counseling, attending Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University, learning to honor my parents, building an overdue relationship with my mom, managing waves of stress and trying not to take it out on Robbe, witnessing my dearest friends give so much of their time and love for me, cherishing my remaining single friends, anticipating the wonderful journey that is Robbe, seeing friendships blossom and others shift out of focus, giving up control, getting real, wondering what I really want to do in life, understanding my intense need for Jesus in every aspect of my life, and trying to take in every moment both crucial and insignificant leading up to June 2...

Like today. I went over to Robbe's house to start packing up his room. His best friend/man Andy and his wife were unexpectedly at the house and brought mimosas to celebrate our move.

Or my dad, who, after my nieces and nephews witnessed a science experiment, excitedly and authoritatively ordered them to: "Go home, get on the computer, and find a science." He meant to say "project" afterwards but didn't. Memory jar. 

Or reading the most beautifully written, bittersweet, heart and soul of a goodbye from Robbe to the people who love him, met him, knew him as the bassist from Farewell Flight, who supported him and took care of him, who fed him and encouraged him, who loved him in ways I will never know; these are the people whom he loved and still does dearly and will truly never forget. I couldn't be more proud or feel more honored to have someone like him supporting me and loving me for the rest of my life. He will always be so much more.